Monday, September 12, 2011

The Violet Hour, NYC


"This is the violet hour, the hour of hush and wonder, when the affections glow again and valor is reborn, when the shadows deepen magically along the edge of the forest and we believe that, if we watch carefully, at any moment we may see the unicorn." - Bernard DeVoto*


Riding home tonight through 5th avenue's grand concrete canyon
on my new baby blue Peugeot I didn't see the unicorn
but I could have sworn Frank was resurrected from that Fire Island beach.

He was gliding gracefully of course
riding alongside me
no hands!
loosening the top button of his impeccably pressed shirt,
reaching for an unfiltered
Gauloises blonds in his left pocket
and lighting it in one fluid gesture
before riding off into the velvety violet hour.





*(Sure it's from a book about cocktails, but uh, literary drinks? perfect...)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Soundtrack for Wander/lusting

Zuzuka Poderosa's story about a broken hearted girl who flees to live with a Makonde tribe in Mozambique. Word.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7hlXJGydhU&feature=player_embedded#at=37

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Things I was told THIS week (no really, I couldn't make this shit up)

It's cliche, but what's beyond remarkable is who stands up and comes to your rescue when everything else falls apart... Who is really really there? My gays, blacks, artists, stunt men ("I've been set on fire, broken bones, crashed cars, nothing hurts more than this, and you will make it through") old provencal farmers, an ex con man ("turn around as you walk out of your cell, bow to it and thank it for all it has taught you")... All I can think is thank god to be rid of those rigid "rational" blonds who don't know shit about love and struggle and what it actually means to hold it down.

Here are some of my favs from this week:

"buy chips and condoms: extra large. you have my wallet."

Old Senegalese guy to my friend: "is this your woman? if not, i would marry her 40 times just to be sure she was mine"

Bestest girlfriend: "we will talk this weekend. and then you will come home and we will sit shiva on this loss and we will love you to pieces until your pieces are whole again."

Now *that's* love.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

You know love has obliterated you when...

A fucking cat-sized, giant Noailles rat stands in your path, on his hind legs, yellow teeth bared, and you say out loud to him, "really? What the fuck are you going to do to me that homeboy hasn't already?"

Then you realize this rat probably doesn't speak English.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Aural Colonization



A musician friend wrote to me recently that he was starting to see Fleet Foxes as the musical salvation for our generation. And I know what he means: Their soaring harmonies often make me feel like I’ve packed my heart a suitcase and binoculars and sent it off on an incredible adventure in a hot air basket, a journey that’s somehow completely quaint but simultaneously beyond remarkable. Their music is beautiful and clean and simple, but not entirely without angst and therefore, mostly, manages to avoid feeling too sappy.


But it gives me pause, this new (old) sound that seems to have crept (back?) into our cities in the past 5+ years. It’s hard to avoid noticing this powerhouse coterie of groups who sound as if they belong more to a meadow than the metropolis (I’m sure there are hundreds more, but the groups in constant rotation I’m thinking of include Fleet Foxes, St Vincent, Beach House and others). To be sure, this isn’t a criticism of these groups, who do what they do fantastically, rather, I wonder what it means when we’ve allowed our aural cities to be colonized by a sound that doesn’t speak to, about, or from “the urban” but appears instead to occult our urbanity. After all, isn’t that what’s been happening to our aesthetics on all fronts for at least the past decade? The boys traded in their “PNB” hoodies for plaid Woolrich jackets and scruffy beards, our neighborhood streets have transitioned from graffiti filled alleyways to suburban style strip malls (helloooo Soho) or precious hand-crafted (read: obscenely priced) specialty stores that hearken back to some small village most urban dwellers seem to be saying they’d rather inhabit (yeah, I’m lookin’ at you, Brooklyn).


The miracle of cities—like the “old New York” that so many of us are still stuck on— is that we come face to face with different, challenging realities that stimulate and excite us, consistently knocking us out of our comfort zone, expanding our notion of what is desirable or even possible. That wall wasn’t just a wall, it was a canvas. That cardboard wasn’t an old box, it was a fucking dance floor. It’s the friction between what is and what could be that makes city life so complicated and often so seductive.


It’s not necessarily that Nas’ Illmatic presents a more authentic urban voice—I mean, any self respecting rapper will tell you theirs is just as much a constructed, composite narrative of urbanity as any other— but just what are the political implications when we’ve stopped including these voices and perspectives in our own soundtracks? What happens when we have so thoroughly rid our urban landscapes, visual and aural, of any space for contestation, for alterity, for fantastic(al) deviance?


All I can think is that maybe if we weren’t so busy singing along to blissed out harmonies, fantasizing about the Blue Ridge Mountains, we could acknowledge that our situations are a bit closer to Biggie (“know how it feels to wake up fucked up, pockets broke as hell ... But they don't know about the stress-filled day, baby on the way, mad bills to pay ...”) and maybe, just maybe, we’d be pissed off enough to actually do something about this bleak ass future we’re staring down.




Saturday, March 19, 2011

Cooking

I've been cooking a lot lately. Partially because doing this amazing year long program in Europe has blown to shreds what paltry savings I'd managed to amass in the past few years, and partially because one of the really lovely things about Europe is how ubiquitous dinner parties are. In New York if you invite someone you're not sleeping with over for dinner they cast you a long sideways glance, like, huh? You want me to schlep where, for what? Maybe it's fear of intimacy that makes New Yorkers not want to invite people into our spaces, or just that those spaces are so damn cramped to begin with. Either way here in Eurolandia, it seems so commonplace that I've felt liberated to really dive in and listen to my Italian grandmother who always seems to be hovering over me saying, make delicious food with your own hands. Save for a sandwich or two during a grad school class trip, weeks will go by without eating anything cooked by someone else.

Cooking has lots of benefits we all know about, it's healthier, you save bucketloads of money (two collegues in my program who live down the street from me in Manchester said they survived 5 days on 7 pounds for both of them, through some seriously smart budgeting and cooking.) I always imagined cooking most of your meals isolating, since it seems, at least in New York, eating out with people is one of the biggest social events for friends. But the wild truth of the matter is that during this year away, cooking has been one of the greatest connectors for me with people I love- every time I whip all random stray veggies in the fridge into a delicious pasta I feel like I've spent the evening in my mother's kitchen. And I know that whenever I make the super simple, delicious hummus my lovely friend Robert has just shown me how to make, I'll feel he's right next to me giggling and gossiping with a fantastically insightful question about what makes wonderful cities what they are.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

another city:

On the way "home" from Edinburgh...

Of course, the universe is ever expanding, so why shouldn't my heart be?

Each moment here felt like a miracle. The simple beauty and generosity of time and space was enough to leave me speechless: these sounds, these moist green fields, even- I had no idea I would love them the way I do. And it makes me homesick like you wouldn't believe, but also high and confidant and sure in the belief that home is the real heterotopia. At once everywhere and nowhere.


There are always more landscapes to embroider onto my imagination.

"In case of emergency, breakdance."